Wednesday, September 30, 2009

The Parable of the Parking Spot

You know when you're really in a hurry for something? You dash like mad out the door to make up for the five minutes it took you to find the gloves that were in your pocket the whole time and then you have to heat up the car because of course this job interview has to be in Utah, which means that it may only be September, but winter--like the sale of Christmas decorations--sure as hell ain't going to wait till December. So you're late, it's cold, the roads are slushy where they're not icy, and then TRAX has to go and block the freaking intersection. And then you have to find a parking spot because the interview is downtown and God himself would be hard-pressed to find a spot on this day. So you park and walk-jog the three blocks from the (scalpers! at the) parking garage and you make it to the interview five minutes late because the five minutes you made up through good traffic light karma were lost to one-way streets and illegal left turns. Curse you, TRAX!

(Do you know where I'm going with this?)

Because this is Utah, the next day is bright and sunny. You're downtown again and just happen to pass your future place of employment and there! Right there! Is a parking space. A parking space! Right there, downtown. On a day when you have no interview to make, when you're not running late, when you have no one to impress. Right there in front of your building.

Guys, studying is my parking spot!!

Now that I'm out of school, I am *awesome*. Awesome!


I used to stay up till 3 doing homework.

I used to stay up past 3 surfing YouTube and Facebook.

I used to stay up past 3 and hope that I would sleep through my alarm so I wouldn't have to go to class.

I procrastinated papers.

And blew off deadlines.

And turned in papers that didn't meet the minimum number of pages required.

(And still got As. Boo Yaw.)

I skipped class to work. (Hello, Paycheck!)

I skipped class to read.

I skipped class just because.

I daydreamed instead of taking notes.

With the exception of two courses, I never did any reading.

I never contributed to class discussions.

I was, by all accounts, a terrible student.

And that's just college.



You get it, right?

Now that I don't need good grades--don't even have the option of grades!--or recommendations or credits or sleep, I am disciplined. (Disciplined!)

I go to bed at a reasonable hour (it's been 1 AM lately).

I wake up while it's still morning.

And then I study.

I read.

I take notes.

I ask questions, and then write them down.

I jot down ideas and color code topics.

I don't allow myself to get distracted by YouTube or season 5 of Grey's Anatomy.

I have a stack of books related to Arabic and job-hunting and human trafficking, and another tower of recreational reading books.

I haven't even touched the tower. Which is a BIG DEAL because it includes Eclipse. And Eclipse means Jacob. Jacooooob!

And yesterday, I made rolls! Fluffy, delicious dinner rolls.


Being out of school is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. Productivity ROCKS!

As do I.

Obviously.

And now it is 12:51 AM and I am going to bed. To bed!

YESSSSSSS.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

The Luxury of Laziness, or, Why I Love The Internet

I'm cleaning up my (ancient, crammed-with-files) computer and have come across all sorts of writing I've done in and out of class. This one was written July 12 when I was, quite evidently, in a very sour mood. I'm posting it because I think it's funny. Just keep in mind that while I really do loooove having internet available to me 24/7, the only time I ever used the internet as much as this would have you believe was as a student with a big paper to write. Also, I loooove to exaggeraaaaate.

And finally, I do not employ profanities so liberally except in writing. Although, that day may have been an exception.

*****

I wrote this yesterday and apparently I was in quite a sour mood. That might be because I had just returned from a wonderful weekend in the amazing land of Syria. Or it might be that the computer lab closed at 1 instead of 3 and so I had to go all the way back home to get my computer so I could check email and facebook and the goingson of the outside world. I did, however, have the chance to glance at my bank account which showed a $20 ATM fee. I came back to school with my laptop but the *cussword* wireless is a piece of *cussword* and I couldn’t do anything with it anyway. Oh, and before I even went to use the internet I was telling some of the people I traveled with about the ATM fee and how they now owed me some bucks since I withdrew the money to cover the entire cost of our stay at the hostel and one of my fellow students butted in and told me to ‘let it go.’ Um, Bull*cussword* I’m going to ‘let it go’. I sure don’t have have 20 USD to put down for a *cussword* ATM fee. Why the *cussword* are you in my business anyway? I sure don’t remember you riding with us in the taxi that overcharged us or withdrawing money from the ATM that slapped me with the fee. Tell me to let it go! GRRR! This place is so stupid!

It’s not, really (yes it is). I actually had a really good day and eventually did find a place with FREE wi-fi and no facebook block. It wasn’t fast enough to download the TAL podcast or to upload any pictures, but I surfed the New York Times AND alJazeera. I also went to the grocery store and understood every word the grocer said to me. All three of them, but HEY. Small victories and all that. Also, he thought I was Russian and pretty much everyone else thinks I’m German or French. I’m not sure what to think of that.

SO, even though it sounds like I’m having a terrible time in Jordan and like I would rather be back in 8AM Intro to Economics than this stupid place, it is not really case. I’m just having trouble adjusting to all this character-building. Being poor is just so hard!

But otherwise, life is good.
****
Gah. I hate that I can no longer afford luxuries like INTERNET and DONUTS and LAZINESS. It’s terrible! Absolutely dreadful. I don’t recommend it—don’t even even try it. Not even for two months. Especially not for two months.

But who even knew laziness was a luxury? Who even knew that there would come a time that I would not have high-speed internet available to use the second I thought to check facebook? WHO KNEW? And why did they not tell me! And whyyyyy is it soooo haaaarddd?

I hate not surfing the New York Times Most Popular articles.
I hate not being able to check my GoogleReader every 8 and a ½ minutes, and not being able to check my email every 2.
I hate not being able to have Facebook open between my Reader and my NYT columns.
I hate not being able to compose blog entries right there on Blogger. Or emails right there on Gmail.
I hate having to walk two blocks to a grocery store with no Ice cream, Lettuce, or Naked.
I hate that when it comes time to wash my clothes, I have to plug in the machine, fill it—bucket by bucket—with water, wait for it to finish, put in the spin cycle and then still have to wait overnight for my clothes to dry because apparently no one invented the Dryer!
I hate not having a Brita pitcher. Pitcher, I miss yooooooou!!
I hate not being able to waste time on YouTube.
I hate not having time to waste.
I hate my morning class on Sunday and Monday.
I hate teachers who reteach useless things. USELESS, I say!
I hate that all the people honk at me as they drive by.
I hate the dry heat.
I hate the hills.
I hate the smell of moth balls and cannot figure out why the hell my building smells like them.
I hate taking taxis everywhere.
I hate that I live so far away from everywhere.
I hate that the exchange rate makes everything 43% more expensive.
I hate that I don’t have a way of generating income.
I hate not being able to wash my face and dishes in hot water—or even lukewarm.
I hate that I can’t check out books from the university library.
I hate that no one can check out books from the university library.
I hate that I can’t check out books from the university library.
I hate the university library calls itself a library when it is so clearly NOT.
I hate when stores don’t have change.
I hate when cab drivers don’t have change.
I hate that everyone in Jordan wants change even though the monetary system in Jordan does not lend itself to so much change.
I hate that the internet connection everywhere is too slow to upload pictures.
I hate that the university wireless connection doesn’t load facebook.
I hate not having 24-hour access to facebook.
I hate not getting the This American Life podcast downloaded directly to iTunes every week.
I hate that there isn’t an internet connection in this COUNTRY fast enough to download it.
I hate that Amman is so lame.
There’s not even a beach!

Grrrrrrrr.

PS I’d just like to say for the record that I never bought donuts. In fact, I would often scold my roommates for buying them because while the guilt of buying AND eating a donut was sufficient to keep me from indulging, free donuts on my kitchen table were not to be passed up. And that donut shop across the street from the university with the buy 2 get 1 free deal is just a ten-minute walk, and there aren’t even any hills.
********
So there you have it. Me on a bad day in Amman. I'd like to add that I'm not sure about the library thing. There were very few books in the collection and none I was interested in checking out, so I never knew for sure if there was a No Check-Out policy (though there probably was. Stupid place.). But it was what I heard from several of my fellow students.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

It's a Small, Small World

For starters, one of my professors from the U moved to the Emirates to teach at a university here. I found this out through Facebook.

The funniest part is not that two U of U people ended up in the Emirates because, as we determined in the last post, lots of Utahns end up here.

What's really funny is the post that came up today, about this professor and one of my AUS professors.
But first, some crucial backstory.

My first semester at the U I took a course called Comparative Politics of the Middle East. One of the required textbooks was this truly wretched book--let me see if I can find it...Hah! Even better. Found the email I sent to my teacher. Dated November 29, 2007:

And since this may be the only chance I get to say this: Roskin and Coyle should not have a written a textbook. Specifically that textbook. Okay, their informal language makes it a much more interesting read than, say, that of Beverly Milton-Edwards. But Milton-Edwards is accurate and objective. Roskin and Coyle are uninformed and, on more than one occasion, blatantly biased. Their information about Islam and Middle Eastern culture is just horrible. Horrible! I think your students ought to be informed of this before putting down 60 precious dollars on a book of misinformation. I took the liberty of putting a warning label on the cover page of mine and marking the worst parts (I'm selling it back to the bookstore).
This is the book. Don't ever buy it. If you see anyone reading it, tell them to send it back. The history bits are great, but the cultural bits are just so offensively off. Do you hear me Roskin and Coyle?? Your book SUCKS.
[In case you're interested, this is how my teacher responded:
I completely agree with you on the quality of the Roskin/Coyle textbook. I will not use it in any of my future classes. It was my mistake for not having taken a closer look at it before assigning it to this class.


Hah
! Take that, Roskin and Coyle!]
So bad book, blah blah blah. And by blah blah blah, I mean that I was so irritated by this book and the seemingly willful ignorance of its authors, that I wrote several long emails to my parents detailing my beef with the book, quoting sections of it and pointing out all the reasons which made these authors completely unqualified to be authoring this textbook.

My parents know many people at the university (not of Utah) and attend social gatherings of all sorts, and at one of these gatherings they struck up a conversation with one of my former professors. Of course, I was brought into the conversation because he knew me and this was my first semester away at college. Also, because I had been sending long rants about how biased this textbook is and Can you believe they said this?? and this prof is particularly interested in the perception of the Muslim/Arab world by Westerners. He emailed me about it shortly after their conversation and asked to know more about the book. When I came out for Christmas, I brought the book with me, complete with underlining and marginalia. I couldn't sell it back to the bookstore because my teacher wasn't using it again, so I just set it on this professor's desk and said, Good Riddance!!

Tonight, nearly two years after parting ways with the book, I read this message on facebook:

Guess who I have been hanging out with in the last couple of weeks. He is Associate Professor of Arabic, previously at AUS, now at AUD. Does [professor's name] ring a bell? Shall I just say" Textbook complaint". This world is very small
.

Yes. Yes it is.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

A Post of Little Effort

I got a post all assembled the other day and right before I published it, realized the pictures didn't embed! So annoying. So, sorry for the delay and since I don't feel like going back and fixing that post, I'm just going to go ahead with this one.

I went on a dhow cruise on Monday. The dhow I rode looked something like this:



in a place looking something like this:



They call it the Fjords of the Middle East, or of Oman, or of Musandam, depending on who you're talking to. These fjords are a whole lot browner than the Fjords of Norway, and the mountains not nearly so huge, but these fjords had dolphins.



My pictures aren't very good, but if they fail to show you how beautiful the scenery was, perhaps they can aid you in imagining how the contrast between the blue water and brown mountains combined to create Beautiful.





Right?

It was weird, though, being out there on the Arabian Sea with a dhowful of Mormons. Of the thirty, I think there were 3 who weren't from Utah. We were the three not saying, "Take a pitcher!" and "oo, that one's eckspecially nice." Of those 27, 15 were under the age of 18.
The crazy thing isn't the dramatic increase in the number of Mormons in the country, it's that so many are from Utah. Some days it doesn't even feel like I moved half way across the world.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Also on this day...

...the power went out. Again. and again. and again.

It's on now, thankfully, but not for these folk.

SHARJAH // About 200 construction workers went on strike yesterday as the emirate’s power cuts and brownouts continued into their fourth week.

The staff employed by the Karam Construction Company abandoned work for four hours to protest against conditions at their accommodation in the Sajja industrial area, which has been without electrical lighting or air conditioning for five days.

And while I rather enjoy the heat of the summer--yes, even this summer, where the humidity makes it 20 degrees hotter--I have the option of AC. And lights, phone and internet, television, stove, microwave and fridge.

09.09.09

Dubai Metro has been launched.

I know because I spent the last hour and 9 minutes waiting for it to pull from the station. Waiting and wading--through the terrible commentary of the anchors on Dubai One's Special Coverage. Through the images of Dubai, images that corresponded with one-word descriptors of the Metro ("convenience," "style"). Through the speeches venerating the visionary VP of the country, president and Prime Minster of Dubai.

And then, at approximately 9:08:34 PM the metro's first ticket was purchased. Shiekh Mo pulled the money from his very own modest brown leather wallet. (But, and I must add this, it was a woman who purchased the ticket. There He was, surrounded by several-hundred men of varying degrees of importance, but Woman gets credit for using the touch-screen ticket dispenser to validate Sheikh Mo's purchase.)

At 9:09:09 PM on 09/09/09, he pressed the Nol Red card to the gate and became the first patron ever.
He was followed by a sea of penguin-looking "dignitaries, businessmen, and others," as Dubai One so succinctly put it.

Up the stairs, through the breezeway over the freeway, out of the mall, and all the way to the world's longest driverless train he walked. You may not think that is remarkable, but oh it was for the anchors.

Riding the metro will take you out of your comfort zone--your sedentary lifestyle, as Sheikh Mohammad is demonstrating.

And what an exemplary job he did of walking up all those stairs!

Then, he and his dignitaries, businessmen, and less common-ers boarded the train. The cameras recorded and TV stations broadcasted and we all waited with great anticipation for the train to make it to the next station...

We all waited with great anticipation for the train to make it to the next station...

We all--what the heck is the hold up??

I still don't know. But five minutes later, when the train did finally pull away from the station, it was packed.

Oh look, now they're all back on TV at the next station. Still walking, and climbing, and setting an example for all of us lazy, car-dependent Dubai residents.

Another little ceremony for this station. Ah, a laser show. That links East and West by lighting up Arabic writing...? The Metro, the anchors tell me, is actually redefining "Arab." Wow! This Metro has so much more meaning than I ever imagined!

Man, all this excitement, anticipation, and watching people break free of the sedentary lifestyles has worked up my appetite. I'm off to make this.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

My Favorite Part Of Being Out Of School

I never wanted to go to college.

I planned to drop out of high school and clean vomit of tavern floors in Dublin--or pretty much anything that would let me travel. My parents wouldn't hear of it and then we all moved to Dubai and so we all got our wishes granted, because not only were we living somewhere new and exciting, but my tuition was 100% FREE. So my parents sent me to college and I had no way out of it.

Now that I'm done, I realize what a complete imbecile I was. Why on Earth would you not go to college? (Answer: Because school means wooooork and graaaaades and teeeessts and papeeeers. Ugh.) Don't answer that; it's rhetorical. The thing about college is this: it rocks. The even cooler thing about college? FINISHING rocks EVEN MORE.

I'm living with my parents again, which may not sound very cool, but which most certainly is. Let me tell you about the last, oh, 36 hours.

I slept in till 11 because I didn't have to do anything at all. (I'm now babysitting only three times a week.)
But I got up and got dressed anyway. And then noticed the awful headache I had and how achey it made my head and how awful my head felt! When my parents got home for lunch, I whiiiiined about my siinuuuseees. My mom, who suffers from sinus aches more than I do, took pity on my and offered me some rhino-relief pills. I only took one. I only took one! (That's important! But I'll come back to it.)
Then I went up to the library with them and was yawning within an hour. Yawning and losing focus and yawning some more.
I fell asleep on the couch.
I got up for dinner.
I fell asleep on the couch.

Pssh. So much for that non-drowsy meds. Also, so much for one pill equaling half a dose. If I had been smart about it, I would have read the instructions and realized that one pill=full-dose=DO NOT TAKE (I can never handle full doses of any medicine).
But I wasn't and I didn't, and so at 11 PM, I woke up and went to bed.

I woke up several more times throughout the night and finally woke up all the way at 7:30 this morning. 7:30! I read a bit.
At 9 the maid came and I decided not to leave my room until she was gone.
She didn't leave for three hours and I read the whole time. In bed. In my PJs. In BED!
This afternoon, I babysat for three hours, which means I got paid to make gingerbread cookies and watch Bolt while munching on popcorn.

Go to college. You'll be so happy you did.


(PS I really have been productive. I've worked out several times since last week's post and have lost 5 pounderinos. I cleaned my room, organized my closet, did laundry, and while my Arabic study hasn't been great, I have been doing some each day. I also have more pictures to post. Woohoo!)

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Wanted: Short-term Commitment

Today, my parents announced that it was time to get me married.

This is a major change of policy, as my parents have long encouraged my bachelorettehood.
"Finish college!" They said.
"Get a degree!" The insisted.
"We don't trust your judgment. We'll choose for you!" They assured.

And then this afternoon while discussing future travel plans, I wished aloud for a travel companion because solo travel is just so exhausting. To that, my mom replied, "Yeah, too bad you're not married."

Dad: Maybe we could do something about it before she leaves.

So we thought about it and talked about it and thought some more and after several minutes of we all agreed that it was highly unlikely we would, in the next three weeks, find a young man possessing not just time and resources to travel for the next two months, but also a willingness to marry for the sole purpose of accompanying me on my travels around the Middle East. Because, you see, I am not really interested in getting married. It's just that I don't have money for a bodyguard.

But I'm not giving up! If you know of anyone, send 'em my way. I do cook (noodles) and clean (occasionally) and I'm really awesome company (most of the time).

Also, clearly I know how to have a good time:



And I'm not afraid of a little dirt.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Dubai. Dubai! OMG DUBAI.

This afternoon I went to Dubai. I needed a haircut. Badly. (See profile.) I didn't cheap out on this one, and for someone with a fast-diminishing savings account and a babysitter's income, it was really an unwise decision. In case you're wondering, yes, I am accepting donations. Please contact me at annaraybia {at} gmail {dot} com.

So: Dubai. Dubai. Wow. Dubai.
I mean, I was there in June. And actually, I was there just a few weeks ago at the airport. But I haven't *really* been there in closer to 4 years. Normally when I come to visit at Christmas, we go to the mall because there is always some new mall to see. And just in December, we went to the Atlantis (just to visit for the afternoon. And indulge in a nice fat scoop from Coldstone). So maybe I shouldn't be *this* shocked. I promise to one day to a side-by-side picture comparison so you can experience, to some degree, the urge I feel to just drop my jaw and utter incoherent phrases about how Dubai is so diff--I mean did you see--how in the--and so fast!!
But for now I will just show you some freaking pictures already.

This is a road I have been on many, many times before. It's parallel to the beach, and runs right along Mall of the Emirates, which was not even there when I first started using it to get to school.



You see that raised, white part running along the road? That's the monorail. That wasn't even conceived of in 2004, but will make its inaugural run next week: on 09.09.09




Bur al-Arab
.
It's $80 just to go inside, so of course this is the closest I've been:


Actually, that's not true. Some friends and I once drove up to the bridge entrance, just to see if we could get through. Turns out, you really do need a reservation.



Whoa! Intersection?? NO WAY!



And this ladder leads to Heaven:

ooooo.

By the time my split ends were annihilated, night had fallen and the moon was shining brightly.


Unfortunately, my tripod was not around to ensure the picture was properly captured.




Humidity has been especially high lately. My sunglasses fog up when I leave the house, my camera lens fogs up whenever I try to take a picture, and the windows always look like this:



So there you have it. And here I have this. Mmmmmm.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Arabian Night

Yesterday, the sun peeked at me through the trees:





I walked a bit and found it again






and was reminded of all the times I had seen it as a student, leaving the library just as the call for Maghrib prayer rang out across the campus.








There's nothing quite like it in the world.